Soil<\/p>\n
I heard the first spadesful hit, it pounded and screamed a me, lingering just outside the protection of my justification; its thumping inevitability making me take every breath with overbearing gratitude. The second shovel shoved down another load of guilt, and I could feel the oxygen scamper to the corners of the tiny wooden box. At least it was padded with \u2018I-had-tos\u2019 and \u2018There-were-no-other-ways\u2019, though that didn\u2019t help with the feeling of being suffocated.<\/p>\n
My burial continued quickly from there, as more people got involved, throwing shame down at me with impertinence. I began to suck, my lips forming an \u2018O\u2019, in order to drag whatever air I could scavenge into my lungs, but I didn\u2019t bang against the roof, I didn\u2019t shout and scream and fight, I just allowed it to pile and pile above me \u2013 until – six feet below the earth\u2026 I allowed the guilt to consume me.<\/p>\n