The cat put a paw on the glass. Jenny could see her toe-beans, very pink, almost as large as she was. That might have been due to the fact that she was stuck in a jam-jar \u2013 but back to the cat. It had ginger fur, with white and black splotch- What? The jar? Yes quite a predicament you see-<\/p>\n
\u201cOh get on with it!\u201d Jenny exclaimed to the top of the jar, seemingly directing her frustration at me. I was just the narrator \u2013 all I do is read the story \u2013 I don\u2019t know why she was getting frustrated with me.<\/p>\n
Anyway \u2013 yes, Jenny was stuck in a jar and had been for a whole day. She didn\u2019t know why she was stuck in the jar, she had just woken up there yesterday morning, and was still stuck here today morning.<\/p>\n
\u201cIs today morning even correct?\u201d Said Jenny, smugly, intruding on my artistic license. For your information, Jenny, it is grammatically correct \u2013 I just googled it \u2013 so go back to tapping your foot or I\u2019ll never read the bit where you get out of the jam jar.<\/p>\n
\u2026<\/p>\n
Good. Now that she has stopped intruding on my story we can get on with it.<\/p>\n
The cat (now probably quite bored after our little back and forth, but professionally waiting for its next turn in the story) stared deeply into the jar, wondering why its best member of staff was so tiny. Like a mouse. If the staff member couldn\u2019t get him his catnip, then what use was she? He would just have to eat her instead.<\/p>\n
\u201cMy cat wouldn\u2019t do that to me! He loves me!\u201d<\/p>\n
Cats are rude, Jenny, they only like you cause you feed them.<\/p>\n
\u201cNot true!\u201d<\/p>\n
Is too.<\/p>\n
\u201cMEOW!\u201d<\/p>\n
The cat has furrowed its brow, rightly returning our attention to this absolute shamble of a story. Jenny sat cross legged on the bottom of the jar, rightly unhappy with her current situation. Any normal narrator maybe inclined to write a story about how she got in, or even how she escape and returned to normal. Maybe she could clap her heels together three times and say \u2018there\u2019s no place like home\u2019 but everyone knows she had already tried that before our story began. Jenny was now blushing like a tomato, as she had thought it might work whilst I wasn\u2019t looking.<\/p>\n
Jenny was stuck in a jar. The sunlight floated in through the window<\/p>\n
\u201cOkay\u2026 Okay. I\u2019m sorry Mister narrator, can you please narrate me out of this mess?\u201d<\/p>\n
See? That wasn\u2019t so hard now was it. The cat began rocking the jar, very interested in getting the tiny staff member to fall out.<\/p>\n
\u201cNo no! Stop Mr Snuggles!\u201d Jenny cried out in terror, worried about what might happen if the jar smashed.<\/p>\n
Fortunately, the Jar tipped over, rolled back and forth a little, but did not fall off the coffee table. Jenny thought it was some miracle, as by the very laws of physics the jar should have fallen off, but it didn\u2019t, and Jenny was grateful.<\/p>\n
\u201cThank god!\u201d She shouted, a hint of annoyance in her voice. Whatever powers that be ignored the slight hint of anger, as they were obviously graceful and kind.<\/p>\n
With an escape at the end of the jar now reachable, Jenny made her move.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m not leaving the cat is right there!\u201d<\/p>\n
Oh. Right. I\u2019ve written myself into a corner here haven\u2019t I?<\/p>\n
\u201cMmhm.\u201d Jenny tapped her foot, rightfully vexed.<\/p>\n
\u201cSnuggles! Dinner!\u201d Jenny\u2019s Mother called from downstairs.<\/p>\n
Distracted by the sound of food, the cat left her bedroom and ran downstairs to collect his dinner from one of the other staff members.<\/p>\n
\u201cSmooth.\u201d<\/p>\n
Thank you Jenny. Jenny climbed out of the jar, and down to the coffee table leg that had very conveniently placed scratches allowing her to latch on as she made her way down. Upon reaching the ground, she saw a tiny vial of juice that read \u2018Drink me!\u2019<\/p>\n
\u201cOh. Alice in wonderland?\u201d<\/p>\n
Upon reaching the ground, Jenny saw a small syringe that read \u2018Inject me!\u2019<\/p>\n
\u201cAlice was good.\u201d<\/p>\n
Jenny picked up the vial of juice, popped the cork, and drank the lot. Her vision blurred, and she blacked out. Jenny awoke in her bed the next morning, normal sized, with Snuggles licking her face.<\/p>\n
\u201cSee! He does love me!\u201d<\/p>\n
In a previous draft he ate you Jenny.<\/p>\n
\u201cOh.\u201d<\/p>\n
Oh indeed.<\/p>\n
Thanks for reading everyone \u2013 next time my story won\u2019t so broken up by its protagonist.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou gave me a voice. In fact you wrote it to be like this so you can\u2019t complain.\u201d<\/p>\n
I mean\u2026 You got me there Jenny. You got me there.<\/p>\n
\u2026<\/p>\n
Jenny, was stuck in a tomato ketchup bottle. She had no idea how she ended up here-<\/p>\n
\u201cOh come on!!!”<\/p>\n